Life or Bust

America

2006-08-04T19:16:33Z

*Everybody put your hands together for a one time engagement with the Livejournal online interface. Mark Heftler, posting a rant!*

I am tired of America, tired of Americans and, to a lesser degree, very tired of Hollywood.

Hollywood, you suck, and you owe me $17.00 for Miami Vice and Taladega Nights (down there in Mark's 10 Worst Flicks along with "The Ballad of Ricky Bobby").

This is a message for the free world. Free world, revoke America's charter. We are no longer the land of liberty nor the land of the free. I had a "debate" today about gay rights (mainly regarding gay marriage), something as a liberal theatre-going individual I support. Now I want to put in a little stipulation just in case someone who doesn't know me is reading this. I am not gay, but just like though I am not a woman I believe and argue that they should be paid the same as men, I believe that gay individuals should have all the rights of heterosexuals.

My coworkers do not. One of them, a 19 year old homicidal pot head alpha male who thinks he's real hot shit though he is not is absolutely against it for some reason. This kid is American to the bone, won't buy foreign cars and hates French people kind of American. I want to give you a little breakdown of some of our "debate" today.

Me: *blah blah* Gays should have all the rights heterosexuals have, including marriage.
Cow: They should have civil unions, they're the same thing.
Me: If they're the same thing why can't it just be called marriage?
Cow: Because marriage is a union between a man and a woman.
M: Says who? The church? The catholic church also would say that everyone should be catholic, that doesn't make it right. Regardless of that, we live in America, born as the land of liberty. The fact that we don't allow gay marriage is calling our entire heritage a lie. You're supposed to come to America to escape persecution and be accepted for who you are.
C: Yeah well if America is so free why can't I smoke pot legally.
M: Smoking pot is detrimental to you and clouds your judgement besides funding more dangerous criminals and being a gateway drug. Being married and gay, on the other hand, is not dangerous at all.
C: You don't know that. Look online and see how many people have been hurt of killed from smoking pot.
M: And how many have been hurt or killed from being in a gay marriage?
C: I don't know but two guys together in a relationship, if they get in a fight it could get violent.
M: ...ok. So pot is illegal right but you smoke it anyway?
C: Is that rhetorical?
M: So you smoke pot...are you in constant fear of getting busted?
C: No.
M: So you smoke pot in your garage illegally with no fear of getting caught basically all the time. What does it matter if it's illegal? It's not policed very well. Gay marriages on the other hand you can't just have in your garage. You need to go to a courthouse and have official paperwork, things like that.
C: So it America's so free why can't I punch people in the face? Or like marry a dog? Unconditional love and all that.
M: Did you just relate homosexuality to bestiality?
C: Yeah I guess.
M: *Contemplates Homicide*

How can you end a debate with asking why it's illegal to punch people in the face?

I hate people.
</lj-cut

Miserable

2006-04-23T06:29:37Z

Allergies Like Woah.

For about the past week I have been unable to breathe, culminating in a day of utter misery in which I could barely talk on Thursday. This prompted me to call my mother who gave me the number of my Ear Nose and Throat doctor whom I called and gave the number of the Eckerd across the street where she prescribed 2 prescription nasal sprays for me, which I picked up. That evening they did not much for me. Following day, Friday, still not doing much except now I have a headache (side effect of spray #1) and am really sleepy (side effect of spray #2). Hence for Relay for Life I think i made like 10 laps though I was there for about 1-1.5 hours. Slept very poorly at Kristin's, only getting an hour or so at a time, before coming home around 8 in the morning and "sleeping" until 1:00 when I woke up, showered, ate lunch, and went back to bed. "Slept" until 5:45 when I woke up because I had to go do a show. Avoided the entire cast the whole time because they were so loud and I was utterly miserable, barely able to keep my eyes opened with a splitting headache. Did the show quite successfully, though I have no idea how. Bailed immediately when I was done (about 1.5 hours before Bows) so I didn't bow for the audience at the end. Ate and watched TV with Kristin. Most of headache's gone, pretty damn sleepy, its 2:30 and I think I'm gonna go to bed now. Maybe I can sleep.

What an F-ing Week.

lonflobber @ 2006-02-11T02:18:00

2006-02-11T07:19:07Z

Tryin to score a free pc...help me out people.

http://www.desktops4free.com/default.aspx?r=589930

You know you wanna.

Songs for a New World Poster...

2006-02-08T23:12:47Z

With my name on it!

http://foxweb.marist.edu/users/kb4ql/Songs.jpg

Isn't it beautiful!

Relay for Life

2006-02-06T04:39:33Z

On the off chance that someone reads this and wants to sponsor me and donate money to the American Cancer Society through Relay For Life, you should fo here.

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=128442&lis=0&kntae128442=A62EDC758A704BB2A89F8D5E24E7EA8F&supId=76669211

That's a looong link.

Thanks!

The Fortunate

2006-02-04T21:46:51Z

The other night I was eating some chinese food with my girlfriend Kristin. It had been a while, and we had just returned from the gym, so chinese food it was. I ate sesame chicken, it was quite good. So anyway we move onto the fortune cookies. Some time ago I had heard that you're not supposed to read the fortune until after you eat the cookie, and when I'm feeling particularly mystic I do just that. So I break the cookie, noting the fortune protruding from the half in my left hand. I eat the right half slowly, savoring the taste, and then get dragged into some conversation. Swallow. Pop left half into my mouth, chewing slowly to savor the taste. As I chew I'm sealing up the meager remains of the chinese food for the garbage. Now, I begin to look for my fortune. On the table? No. In napkin? Nope. Maybe it's in the chinese tin, which I reopen and poke around. No, it's not in there. Now I'm getting frantic. Search search search...I even ask my girlfriend if she knows what happened to it. She tells me no. Search search chew. Ok there's a part of this cookie that I'm now noticing is not chewing. I stop searching. The damn fortune was still in the left half of the cookie when I ate it!

I really wanted to read that freaking fortune.

Stuff Says...

2006-01-07T23:00:06Z

Wandered onto StuffMagazine.com and read this:

DO ask what you can do to get her off. I know how hard it is for you men to ask for directions, but it’s not like you’re taking a road trip to Poughkeepsie; it’s like you’re taking a road trip to Poughkeepsie when the town is participating in a giant orgy and screaming in ecstasy.

Oh Po-town.

Cinderella Man

2005-12-25T04:47:08Z

I watched Cinderella Man, part of my gift from Kristin, tonight with my dad and brother.

It was just as great, if not better, as I recall it to be.

Thanks baby.

lonflobber @ 2005-12-13T00:25:00

2005-12-13T05:29:07Z

So about 2.5 months now...

OK I'm trying to get myself a free PS3. Who wouldn't want one, right? I plan on getting it through one of those online sites that always seem like a scam but really aren't, though one wouldn't know it because noone trys it. So I went there and I completed an offer for under $6.00 which was credited to me in under 2 days. Now if I refer 8 people who do the same, well, I get a free PS3. So. Go here:

http://ps3s.freepay.com/?r=25896015

Sign up, and complete an offer. I completed the "Get Paid to Shop" Shopping4Money deal. It says pay $1.00 for a trial membership but when you actually go to the site it's $6.00 or so. So you complete that offer and then shortly it will be credited to you, and you can distribute your number to people so that you can get your free PS3 as well.

If you don't believe this is legit, check out this:

http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/12-05-2005/0004227546&EDATE=

Ok?
Please.

lonflobber @ 2005-10-18T00:54:00

2005-10-18T05:00:17Z

So life moves on. With the end of Laramie, everything in the world got a bit brighter, and then MCCTA really picked up and everything got even brighter and then I started going out with this girl Kristin and it became blinding. Rumors was fantastic, Rocky seems to be going well, I've started doing things for Songs. Kristin and I have been together over 2 weeks now. I'm smiling.

Mark: This one's for me!

2005-09-09T17:18:48Z

I thought I was being very polite...apparently not.

Mark,
Let me first say that I will answer you personally - NOT AS A LARAMIE
CORRESPONDENT.

I'm truly sorry you are having issues with Laramie. Instead of rehearsals on
the fly (which is only bringing you guys in when we really need you, so you
have time for other things)we probably should have made all of you sit through
every single rehearsal. Oh - but you're already complaining about long hours -
no, I guess that would not work either.

I'll be absolutely blunt Mark, since that is what you have been, although
truthfully this is the most obnoxious and disrespectful email I've ever
received. Your true wrath, which is really directed at "Andrews" as you so
disrespectfully call him, is put upon me, which I find extremely cowardly -
but not to fear, I will forward your response to Matt.
Should I just call him Matt as everyone else does? I was always told that issues were to be discussed with the stage manager, not the director/producer. Apparently I was mistaken?

Bottom line Mark - you knew you were ensemble - you were told to be available
the last two weeks before the show - what you call "on the fly" was
respectfully bringing you guys in only when needed - YOU HAD AN ENTIRE SUMMER
TO THINK OVER WHETHER YOU WOULD WANT TO TRY OUT FOR MCCTA SHOWS - YOU MADE A
COMMITTMENT TO US- AND NOW THAT YOU HAVE A BIG SPEAKING PART YOU WANT TO DUMP
THE PLAY IN WHICH YOU FEEL - let me see, how did you put it, "a tree or piece
of meat". Actually, my friend's daughter will enjoy this - she does many
chorus parts on Broadway - I think she would love to be treated like a tree.
It's not the speaking issue, it's the bullshit issue.

If your parents never sat you down for the committment talk, I'm sorry for
you, but that is all it boils down to - unless you are more clever than most
people, and can be in two places at once, you have a problem. You had to know
when you were sitting at a Rumor tryout, that this would conflict with what
you had aready committed to - I can't hold your hand now because Laramie
is "shattering your weekend plans". The real adult world, Mark, is much worse
than this. You are kind of like, "Yea, I want that - then you get a big part -
oh no, now I want THAT - and screw what I committed to.
I have so much committment it's boiling over. This is not the adult world...It's Andrew's world.

I can't even believe I'm answering this email and giving my precious time to
this. I'm forwarding this to Matt and I'm sure he will be in touch with you.

Note: No character actor missed any rehearsal except Stephanie Fields, whose
grandfather is critically ill, except for 5 who have 1 night class, the same
as ensemble people. You're not suffering Mark, take it from me - a little
older, a little wiser maybe, but it gets a lot worse in the big adult world.
Honestly, with this attitude, I hope you are not pursuing theater after
graduation - you are in for the surprise of your life. Shattering your
weekend - they will laugh you right out of the theater!!!
If I pursued professional theater out of college, hopefully I would not run into someone like Andrews. Also if I was doing professional theater that would be my job, and that would be that.

And if you hadn't spread yourself thin enough - now you are assistant producer
for Rocky Horror - you young people kill me - you want it all but then you
freak and blame someone else when you can't be everywhere at once.
BULLITIN!!!!! Monday night is 4 nights away from opening of Laramie - earth
to Mark - how did you expect to do all this??

I'm really, really sorry Mark, but it amazes me that you created this problem
situation you are in - but yet you are blaming everyone else but yourself..
I'm not blaming anyone, I'm listing grievances.

One more thing - don't use "we". Don't speak for the entire cast - I do not
think that would be appreciated by all the people who have worked so hard..
As stated in my email, we does not refer to the cast. We refers to the ensemble, who are not part of the cast.

Your "email" will ber forwarded,
Pat
Thank you.

I expected more from her, being older than the rest of us I assumed more mature. If she thought I was rude, what did she think she was?
Bring on the F in Acting I!

Edit: The bolded bits are my mental responses to her email, shown only here.

Andrews: This one's for you!

2005-09-09T06:36:23Z

Pat-

I’m really sorry but I have some serious issues with Laramie at the moment.
I cannot take these rehearsal times on the fly, I’m used to working under a laid out schedule.
I don’t understand why I have a contact sheet with no contact information on it.
This show is not a cohesive cast, there's a cast and an ensemble who's treated like less than actors. We're held to long rehearsal times so that we may mill about and perhaps, if we're lucky, say one line.
We're not propped, we're not costumed.
We cannot hear the principles to know our entrances and then we look like idiots.

But we've taken it. I have not complained once, though I can say without a shadow of a doubt this has been the least enjoyable show I have ever been in.

At the same time I am in this wonder of a show Rumors, in which I have a great part and actually feel like a human being instead of a tree or a piece of meat. Rumors is very important to me and yet Laramie is destroying that by pulling me from Rumors rehearsals left and right so that I can stand on the stage and say my one line. One line when I could be working an entire script.

I had plans this weekend before Andrews and Laramie came in and attempted to shatter them. I have a rehearsal for Rumors from I believe 11-3 on Saturday which I as a lead really cannot afford to miss. I have plans on Sunday evening made in advance which I also cannot miss.
Every piece, every work, every production must be a compromise. I have made every rehearsal to date; I wish all of the principles could say the same, but I see members of that consistently consistently absent. Shouldn't they be held to the same strict standards that we the ensemble are?

I also have plans for Monday evening because I'm assistant producing Rocky Horror and we're supposed to sit in on the tryouts, which would prevent me from coming to rehearsal until later than the set time. I understand it's important for me to be backstage in the green room for about an hour awaiting the entrance but my time could be much better spent elsewhere.

As I see it, there are two practical options.
We can practice the magic of compromise; I can leave early or come late or plan something out with you so that my ten minutes of time on stage are not making my coming week a living hell and destroying Rumors, or I can be cut. I'm sure someone can be upgraded to my line if that's the case, and I do apologize that it's come to this but I can no longer be silent on this issue.

Thank you.

Mark Heftler

Change

2005-09-08T02:51:04Z

Ok after two very promising and good and happy posts in a row, it's time for a rant.
I've been saying since last semester ended that the jury was still out on Matthew Andrews.
Well, the juries back. The verdict is in. It is not promising or good or happy.
People wonder why MCCTA hires outside directors. They say it's a waste of money. That's ridiculous.
You know what else is ridiculous?
Playing God.
Matthew Andrews is a professor, a director of a program and the director of the shows under that program.
That is wrong. He cannot seperate himself into those seperate identities.
He runs SLA Theater. Why is it called SLA? Well, SLA stands for School of Liberal Arts.
That's not what the program is about. It has nothing to do with the School of Liberal Arts.
Courtney suggested it be called Andrew's Theater.
That's a possibility.
Another issue is that Matthew Andrews is big on playing favorites.
If he likes you, you have things golden.
I think it should be called Ryan and John Theater.
They are his two biggest favorites.
Something else of interest. We need to write reviews of his works for his classes.
He can't take that.
I had to write two reviews of Godspell, which I loathed.
The first one I wrote well with true feeling, listing all the things I disliked.
The second I wrote less well because it was all untrue, it was bullshit. It was hard for me to make up good things to say, I hated it that much.
Guess which I got the higher grade on.
Yeah that's right, the poorly written ego-fest of the second.
Is that correct?
Is that fair?
So now if I had an impartial third party director I could quit a show without fear of retribution.
Yes, my peers would probably be disgusted.
Yes, the board would probably be angry.
But I would not fail a class.
If I quit Laramie, I would have failed Acting I and been banned from all other SLA productions.
Is that fair?
My favorite part is he wants to pull me from classes and more important projects, such as Rumors, to stand on stage.
To say one line.
To mill.
To annoy.
To hate.
To vote.
15 minutes total, perhaps.
Wasting too much of my life.

So you know what?

Screw you.

lonflobber @ 2005-09-07T15:34:00

2005-09-07T19:35:05Z

Welcome the newest, youngest member of the MCCTA Executive Board, The Managing Director of Musicals.
Assistant Producer of Rocky Horror.
Probably Producer of Songs for a new World.
Mark Jason Heftler

Rumors Abound

2005-09-05T21:56:33Z

Ok all the usual stuff, back to school, rooms great suite mates are good classes are good friends are good food is bad campus is beautiful blah blah blah. Now important stuff. Laramie Project is coming up shortly in which I have one line and get to mill about in some crowd scenes and for this I waste my entire evening. That is SLA.

MCCTA is performing Rumors, by Neil Simon. In that, I have apparently auditioned well enough to receive not a crummy little part like my previous college plays but the lead, that of Ken Gorman. October 7-9 I believe. Come see it. Thank you.

Normally Mark Doesnt Post These But...

2005-08-24T05:47:14Z

what the hell.

mark is
mark is the best
mark is the beast
mark is smart
mark is the man
mark is permanent
mark is just bitter
mark is having fun now
mark is largely ignored
mark is paris burning
mark is ready
mark is cranky
mark is not the man for the job
mark is more than just a label
mark is climbing back up
mark is fly this game is fly
mark is unique
mark is working at the center
mark is serious business the identification of parts is quickly becoming a prerequisite for most companies and organizations
mark is bringing change
mark is used
mark is your mini? there is a great deal of confusion when it comes to mini marks
mark is a golden god
mark is the first new testament gospel
mark is featured in the readers digest and is a media favourite
mark is deleted
mark is my hero
mark is printed every six inches on tape products that have obtained ul listing to ul 181b
mark is looking for some action
mark is a coward who won't use his real name
mark is my name

Stupid Site.
Stupid Comments.

Of Summaries and Shores

2005-08-19T04:30:59Z

So work has ended. I don't think anything crazy has happened. Played some frisbee I'm sure.

I'm down the shore right now, Wildwood, condo with 9..."friends".

Wolfe is leaving soon so we all of course had to go out to dinner on his last night.

By the way, our thing is "VaCa '05"

So we found this great little bar and grill. We had been walking and were thirsty so we decided to hit the bar and drink some soda, scope out the place. We go in and they had been having no customers so we ordered some food too. And by some food I mean we each got a 1 pound Kahuna burger which if eaten earns you a picture on their website. So of course we ate it. It was freaking delicious. And than the bartender gave us some alcohol. She was cool, albeit 60 or so.

We'll be checking often for our picture, Wolfe and I each holding a plate, his says VaCa and mine says '05.

It's gonna be freaking sweet.

Life?

2005-07-12T22:17:55Z

I was going to write about 2 amusements and an angerance, but I've forgotten the angerance so I'll just say that the angerance is my forgetfullness. Moving on.

Amusement One: First, background. I hate all the road construction of summer. Every day I'm detoured on my way to/from work. The detour goes past a church. The sign in front of the church now says: "Sometimes God uses detours to send us messages." Very cute, hope that works for you.

Amusement Two: On my way to work I've passed this Tiki Bar thing that's been on someone's front yard the past few days and I've wondered each time what the hell why is that bar there and where the hell is the bartender, I'm thirsty. Now there's a sign in front of it saying "Custom Tiki Bars, 201 Blah Blah." That's outstanding, I want a tiki bar!

Oh yeah here's the annoyance. Social Security must be really stingy with there employees and have them pay for long distance phone calls or something because if they have to make a long distance phone call on your accord they are MOST unhappy. Jerks.

Frisbee Update: I got an email back from the Suburban news asking me for my number and confirmation that it's really me. Maybe I'll get an interview, lol.

Oh and I plan on growing my beard back starting this weekend-I just got a haircut so as to keep the status quo.

Frisbee Blues

2005-07-08T04:42:49Z

Obviously I did lots of things since last updating but nothing was too important and I can't recall anything sticking out in my mind so I'll just leave that at that. However I have a proposal.

This is for all the towns who have problems with underage drinking (aka all the towns who have underage people), towns just like Ramsey. You want to stop the kids from drinking? Well give them something to fucking do. You know what I want to do at night? I want to play ultimate frisbee with some of my friends. Is there any alcohol? No. Might we be a bit boisterous? Of course, we're playing a loud, fast-paced game. But no matter where we go, we get yelled at because we're being too loud and disturbing the peace and whatnot. Which wouldn't be so bad if they sent one polite officer to send us on our way. Instead we get multiple cops giving us attitude because...well because we're not drinking. Lemme tell you something, mayor/police. I live in Ramsey, NJ. THERE IS NOTHING FOR ME TO DO HERE. The "cinema" plays Disney movies. The bowling alleys long shut down. The diner is little shithole. So I turn to my last refuge: Frisbee. We play in front of the HS, we get yelled at. We play behind the HS on the awesome field, we get yelled at. We can't play in the park which would be ideal because oh, look at that, they close at 11:00 and many people are working then. So that leaves us with nothing to do. Do you know what that means, oh rule-enforcing government of small town Ramsey? Because I am going to tell you.

That means that it is easier for me, an individual under the age of 21, to drink, then it is to play an innocent game of frisbee.

Thank you, Ramsey.

Your loyal resident,
Mark Heftler

Road Rage

2005-06-30T01:00:22Z

When I left work today, I left in the middle of a monsoon. Pounding rain, black skies, visibility nill...at 4:00 in the afternoon. As I'm driving, I have my windshield wipers on high and my headlights on and I still can't really see what's coming at me. And yet I notice some of my fellow drivers without their headlights on. What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you think you're better than the rest of us, who need our lights to see and would like to be able to see you coming through the rain? Are you that lazy that you can't just switch the lights on? Or maybe you're lights are, god forbid, burnt out. Are you too cheap to buy some new ones? I mean, christ!

I was really tempted to stop the car, get out in the pouring rain, pull these extremely offensive drivers out of their cars and beat the crap out of them.

And then turn on their hazard lights, before driving away.

I couldn't see me doing that though.

And now for an intelligently written entry...sorta

2005-06-26T19:09:33Z

Wow Saturday was simply fantastic. As I think I said, my company was entertaining our West coast office so they were taking us all out to the city for entertainment and dinner and whatnot. I was invited along, as well as a guest; I asked Muser. We caught the 11:20 train to Hoboken, took the Path train into the city and saw The Producers at 2:00. It was so funny, wow. I really like Richard Kind from Spin City, he is great. After the show we had a few hours to kill so we went to the Loews theater to see if any good movies were playing. I had 2 free Loews tickets. We ended up seeing Land of the Dead, which was ok. We still had time to kill, so we went into some broadway type shops before going to the restaurant, Carmines. My god was the food and company good...and the drinks. Just ask Muser, lol. It's all served family style, so they were bringing out dish after dish of delicious food: bread, garlic bread, fried calamari, salad, stuffed mushrooms, some spinach thing, manicotti, pasta with broccolli and sausage, chicken parm, veal marsala, shrimp scampi, and then some dessert platter with all sorts of stuff. And stuffed is what we were. Stumbled out of the restaurant, couldnt get down to the path train, asked the subway people for help, got to the path train, jumped on the 11:45 train and hit Hoboken at 12:00. We ran like hell so we could catch the 12:05 train, ended up getting on the wrong train, ran off that train onto the right train, and collapsed, out of breath. Hit Ramsey around 1:00, got home around 1:20, and slept like a fucking rock.

Don't you wish all days could be like that?
Or more, anyways?
I do.

Favorite line of the evening, courtesy of Dulberger exiting thr train:
"I didn't know you two were dating."
*Smacks Forehead*

*Edit*
We did all of this for about $30 total.

Da Beard

2005-06-21T00:18:01Z

So I've shaved off my beard. At first it was like AHH I FEEL NAKED LIKE I'VE LOST AN ARM OR SOMETHING.

But it grew on my quicky...or un-grew on me. Anyway I've gotten used to it and ya know...I kind of like the change. Plus according to this poll I read, 41% of women like men clean-shaven, so what're ya gonna do.

For all of you home-types, it's back to the old Mark.
For all of you Marist types who really only know me with the beard...either prepare to be surprised or pray I grow it back.

As the world turns

2005-06-18T17:52:05Z

Got a new cell phone, the Razr V3.

And now the amazing Magician Mark Heftler will make something you can all recognize dissappear...*poof*
It's gone.
Did you miss it?

Run-on

2005-06-09T03:49:28Z

Got a raise, got paid (money woes are OVER), got new tires among other things, lost some more weight, got the new Coldplay cd of iTunes, it's growing on me but it's not my favorite, saw My Blue Heaven, saw Cinderella Man, saw The Phantom of the Opera, Cinderella man was AMAZING and the other two were good, and I started wearing jeans; I haven't worn jeans in about 7 years.

2005-06-02T22:31:51Z

Started working, lost over 7 pounds, got a flat tire, changed the tire, my mom got some dog. Now we have 2 black cats and a black dog...