*Everybody put your hands together for a one time engagement with the Livejournal online interface. Mark Heftler, posting a rant!*

I am tired of America, tired of Americans and, to a lesser degree, very tired of Hollywood.

Hollywood, you suck, and you owe me $17.00 for Miami Vice and Taladega Nights (down there in Mark's 10 Worst Flicks along with "The Ballad of Ricky Bobby").

This is a message for the free world. Free world, revoke America's charter. We are no longer the land of liberty nor the land of the free. I had a "debate" today about gay rights (mainly regarding gay marriage), something as a liberal theatre-going individual I support. Now I want to put in a little stipulation just in case someone who doesn't know me is reading this. I am not gay, but just like though I am not a woman I believe and argue that they should be paid the same as men, I believe that gay individuals should have all the rights of heterosexuals.

My coworkers do not. One of them, a 19 year old homicidal pot head alpha male who thinks he's real hot shit though he is not is absolutely against it for some reason. This kid is American to the bone, won't buy foreign cars and hates French people kind of American. I want to give you a little breakdown of some of our "debate" today.
( Debate is On )</lj-cut

Allergies Like Woah.

For about the past week I have been unable to breathe, culminating in a day of utter misery in which I could barely talk on Thursday. This prompted me to call my mother who gave me the number of my Ear Nose and Throat doctor whom I called and gave the number of the Eckerd across the street where she prescribed 2 prescription nasal sprays for me, which I picked up. That evening they did not much for me. Following day, Friday, still not doing much except now I have a headache (side effect of spray #1) and am really sleepy (side effect of spray #2). Hence for Relay for Life I think i made like 10 laps though I was there for about 1-1.5 hours. Slept very poorly at Kristin's, only getting an hour or so at a time, before coming home around 8 in the morning and "sleeping" until 1:00 when I woke up, showered, ate lunch, and went back to bed. "Slept" until 5:45 when I woke up because I had to go do a show. Avoided the entire cast the whole time because they were so loud and I was utterly miserable, barely able to keep my eyes opened with a splitting headache. Did the show quite successfully, though I have no idea how. Bailed immediately when I was done (about 1.5 hours before Bows) so I didn't bow for the audience at the end. Ate and watched TV with Kristin. Most of headache's gone, pretty damn sleepy, its 2:30 and I think I'm gonna go to bed now. Maybe I can sleep.

What an F-ing Week.

Tryin to score a free pc...help me out people.

http://www.desktops4free.com/default.aspx?r=589930

You know you wanna.

Date:	2006-02-08 18:11
Subject:	Songs for a New World Poster...
Security:	Public
Mood:	ecstatic
Music:	Songs for a New World

With my name on it!

http://foxweb.marist.edu/users/kb4ql/Songs.jpg

Isn't it beautiful!

Date:	2006-02-05 23:38
Subject:	Relay for Life
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Van Halen - I'll Wait

On the off chance that someone reads this and wants to sponsor me and donate money to the American Cancer Society through Relay For Life, you should fo here.

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=128442&lis=0&kntae128442=A62EDC758A704BB2A89F8D5E24E7EA8F&supId=76669211

That's a looong link.

Thanks!

Date:	2006-02-04 16:39
Subject:	The Fortunate
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused
Music:	Turin Brakes - Long Distance

The other night I was eating some chinese food with my girlfriend Kristin. It had been a while, and we had just returned from the gym, so chinese food it was. I ate sesame chicken, it was quite good. So anyway we move onto the fortune cookies. Some time ago I had heard that you're not supposed to read the fortune until after you eat the cookie, and when I'm feeling particularly mystic I do just that. So I break the cookie, noting the fortune protruding from the half in my left hand. I eat the right half slowly, savoring the taste, and then get dragged into some conversation. Swallow. Pop left half into my mouth, chewing slowly to savor the taste. As I chew I'm sealing up the meager remains of the chinese food for the garbage. Now, I begin to look for my fortune. On the table? No. In napkin? Nope. Maybe it's in the chinese tin, which I reopen and poke around. No, it's not in there. Now I'm getting frantic. Search search search...I even ask my girlfriend if she knows what happened to it. She tells me no. Search search chew. Ok there's a part of this cookie that I'm now noticing is not chewing. I stop searching. The damn fortune was still in the left half of the cookie when I ate it!

I really wanted to read that freaking fortune.

Wandered onto StuffMagazine.com and read this:

DO ask what you can do to get her off. I know how hard it is for you men to ask for directions, but it’s not like you’re taking a road trip to Poughkeepsie; it’s like you’re taking a road trip to Poughkeepsie when the town is participating in a giant orgy and screaming in ecstasy.

Oh Po-town.

I watched Cinderella Man, part of my gift from Kristin, tonight with my dad and brother.

It was just as great, if not better, as I recall it to be.

Thanks baby.

Date:	2005-12-13 00:25
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	curious

So about 2.5 months now...

OK I'm trying to get myself a free PS3. Who wouldn't want one, right? I plan on getting it through one of those online sites that always seem like a scam but really aren't, though one wouldn't know it because noone trys it. So I went there and I completed an offer for under $6.00 which was credited to me in under 2 days. Now if I refer 8 people who do the same, well, I get a free PS3. So. Go here:

http://ps3s.freepay.com/?r=25896015

Sign up, and complete an offer. I completed the "Get Paid to Shop" Shopping4Money deal. It says pay $1.00 for a trial membership but when you actually go to the site it's $6.00 or so. So you complete that offer and then shortly it will be credited to you, and you can distribute your number to people so that you can get your free PS3 as well.

If you don't believe this is legit, check out this:

http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/12-05-2005/0004227546&EDATE=

Ok?
Please.

So life moves on. With the end of Laramie, everything in the world got a bit brighter, and then MCCTA really picked up and everything got even brighter and then I started going out with this girl Kristin and it became blinding. Rumors was fantastic, Rocky seems to be going well, I've started doing things for Songs. Kristin and I have been together over 2 weeks now. I'm smiling.

Date:	2005-09-09 13:08
Subject:	Mark: This one's for me!
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off
Music:	Nothing

I thought I was being very polite...apparently not.

( My Response from the Stage Manager of the Laramie Project )
I expected more from her, being older than the rest of us I assumed more mature. If she thought I was rude, what did she think she was?
Bring on the F in Acting I!

Edit: The bolded bits are my mental responses to her email, shown only here.

Date:	2005-09-09 02:32
Subject:	Andrews: This one's for you!
Security:	Public
Mood:	irate
Music:	Coldplay - Low

( My Email to the Stage Manager of the Laramie Project )

Date:	2005-09-07 22:38
Subject:	Change
Security:	Public
Mood:	irate
Music:	Not Godspell, that's for fucking sure

Ok after two very promising and good and happy posts in a row, it's time for a rant.
I've been saying since last semester ended that the jury was still out on Matthew Andrews.
Well, the juries back. The verdict is in. It is not promising or good or happy.
People wonder why MCCTA hires outside directors. They say it's a waste of money. That's ridiculous.
You know what else is ridiculous?
Playing God.
Matthew Andrews is a professor, a director of a program and the director of the shows under that program.
That is wrong. He cannot seperate himself into those seperate identities.
He runs SLA Theater. Why is it called SLA? Well, SLA stands for School of Liberal Arts.
That's not what the program is about. It has nothing to do with the School of Liberal Arts.
Courtney suggested it be called Andrew's Theater.
That's a possibility.
Another issue is that Matthew Andrews is big on playing favorites.
If he likes you, you have things golden.
I think it should be called Ryan and John Theater.
They are his two biggest favorites.
Something else of interest. We need to write reviews of his works for his classes.
He can't take that.
I had to write two reviews of Godspell, which I loathed.
The first one I wrote well with true feeling, listing all the things I disliked.
The second I wrote less well because it was all untrue, it was bullshit. It was hard for me to make up good things to say, I hated it that much.
Guess which I got the higher grade on.
Yeah that's right, the poorly written ego-fest of the second.
Is that correct?
Is that fair?
So now if I had an impartial third party director I could quit a show without fear of retribution.
Yes, my peers would probably be disgusted.
Yes, the board would probably be angry.
But I would not fail a class.
If I quit Laramie, I would have failed Acting I and been banned from all other SLA productions.
Is that fair?
My favorite part is he wants to pull me from classes and more important projects, such as Rumors, to stand on stage.
To say one line.
To mill.
To annoy.
To hate.
To vote.
15 minutes total, perhaps.
Wasting too much of my life.

So you know what?

Screw you.

Date:	2005-09-07 15:34
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	ecstatic
Music:	Ceasars - Jerk it Out

Welcome the newest, youngest member of the MCCTA Executive Board, The Managing Director of Musicals.
Assistant Producer of Rocky Horror.
Probably Producer of Songs for a new World.
Mark Jason Heftler

Ok all the usual stuff, back to school, rooms great suite mates are good classes are good friends are good food is bad campus is beautiful blah blah blah. Now important stuff. Laramie Project is coming up shortly in which I have one line and get to mill about in some crowd scenes and for this I waste my entire evening. That is SLA.

MCCTA is performing Rumors, by Neil Simon. In that, I have apparently auditioned well enough to receive not a crummy little part like my previous college plays but the lead, that of Ken Gorman. October 7-9 I believe. Come see it. Thank you.

Date:	2005-08-24 01:40
Subject:	Normally Mark Doesnt Post These But...
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Layer Cake

what the hell.

mark is
mark is the best
mark is the beast
mark is smart
mark is the man
mark is permanent
mark is just bitter
mark is having fun now
mark is largely ignored
mark is paris burning
mark is ready
mark is cranky
mark is not the man for the job
mark is more than just a label
mark is climbing back up
mark is fly this game is fly
mark is unique
mark is working at the center
mark is serious business the identification of parts is quickly becoming a prerequisite for most companies and organizations
mark is bringing change
mark is used
mark is your mini? there is a great deal of confusion when it comes to mini marks
mark is a golden god
mark is the first new testament gospel
mark is featured in the readers digest and is a media favourite
mark is deleted
mark is my hero
mark is printed every six inches on tape products that have obtained ul listing to ul 181b
mark is looking for some action
mark is a coward who won't use his real name
mark is my name

Stupid Site.
Stupid Comments.

Date:	2005-08-19 00:11
Subject:	Of Summaries and Shores
Security:	Public
Mood:	drunk
Music:	Bruce Springsteen - Lonesome Day

So work has ended. I don't think anything crazy has happened. Played some frisbee I'm sure.

I'm down the shore right now, Wildwood, condo with 9..."friends".

Wolfe is leaving soon so we all of course had to go out to dinner on his last night.

By the way, our thing is "VaCa '05"

So we found this great little bar and grill. We had been walking and were thirsty so we decided to hit the bar and drink some soda, scope out the place. We go in and they had been having no customers so we ordered some food too. And by some food I mean we each got a 1 pound Kahuna burger which if eaten earns you a picture on their website. So of course we ate it. It was freaking delicious. And than the bartender gave us some alcohol. She was cool, albeit 60 or so.

We'll be checking often for our picture, Wolfe and I each holding a plate, his says VaCa and mine says '05.

It's gonna be freaking sweet.

Date:	2005-07-12 18:12
Subject:	Life?
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper
Music:	Tom Petty - Honey Bee

I was going to write about 2 amusements and an angerance, but I've forgotten the angerance so I'll just say that the angerance is my forgetfullness. Moving on.

Amusement One: First, background. I hate all the road construction of summer. Every day I'm detoured on my way to/from work. The detour goes past a church. The sign in front of the church now says: "Sometimes God uses detours to send us messages." Very cute, hope that works for you.

Amusement Two: On my way to work I've passed this Tiki Bar thing that's been on someone's front yard the past few days and I've wondered each time what the hell why is that bar there and where the hell is the bartender, I'm thirsty. Now there's a sign in front of it saying "Custom Tiki Bars, 201 Blah Blah." That's outstanding, I want a tiki bar!

Oh yeah here's the annoyance. Social Security must be really stingy with there employees and have them pay for long distance phone calls or something because if they have to make a long distance phone call on your accord they are MOST unhappy. Jerks.

Frisbee Update: I got an email back from the Suburban news asking me for my number and confirmation that it's really me. Maybe I'll get an interview, lol.

Oh and I plan on growing my beard back starting this weekend-I just got a haircut so as to keep the status quo.

Date:	2005-07-08 00:33
Subject:	Frisbee Blues
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated
Music:	Computer Whirring

Obviously I did lots of things since last updating but nothing was too important and I can't recall anything sticking out in my mind so I'll just leave that at that. However I have a proposal.

This is for all the towns who have problems with underage drinking (aka all the towns who have underage people), towns just like Ramsey. You want to stop the kids from drinking? Well give them something to fucking do. You know what I want to do at night? I want to play ultimate frisbee with some of my friends. Is there any alcohol? No. Might we be a bit boisterous? Of course, we're playing a loud, fast-paced game. But no matter where we go, we get yelled at because we're being too loud and disturbing the peace and whatnot. Which wouldn't be so bad if they sent one polite officer to send us on our way. Instead we get multiple cops giving us attitude because...well because we're not drinking. Lemme tell you something, mayor/police. I live in Ramsey, NJ. THERE IS NOTHING FOR ME TO DO HERE. The "cinema" plays Disney movies. The bowling alleys long shut down. The diner is little shithole. So I turn to my last refuge: Frisbee. We play in front of the HS, we get yelled at. We play behind the HS on the awesome field, we get yelled at. We can't play in the park which would be ideal because oh, look at that, they close at 11:00 and many people are working then. So that leaves us with nothing to do. Do you know what that means, oh rule-enforcing government of small town Ramsey? Because I am going to tell you.

That means that it is easier for me, an individual under the age of 21, to drink, then it is to play an innocent game of frisbee.

Thank you, Ramsey.

Your loyal resident,
Mark Heftler

Date:	2005-06-29 20:56
Subject:	Road Rage
Security:	Public
Mood:	irate

When I left work today, I left in the middle of a monsoon. Pounding rain, black skies, visibility nill...at 4:00 in the afternoon. As I'm driving, I have my windshield wipers on high and my headlights on and I still can't really see what's coming at me. And yet I notice some of my fellow drivers without their headlights on. What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you think you're better than the rest of us, who need our lights to see and would like to be able to see you coming through the rain? Are you that lazy that you can't just switch the lights on? Or maybe you're lights are, god forbid, burnt out. Are you too cheap to buy some new ones? I mean, christ!

I was really tempted to stop the car, get out in the pouring rain, pull these extremely offensive drivers out of their cars and beat the crap out of them.

And then turn on their hazard lights, before driving away.

I couldn't see me doing that though.